


Bet My Life

by Lackyducks



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst with a Happy Ending, FakeHaus, GTA!AU, Misgendering, Multi, Murder, Soulmate AU, because i swear there should be more, its only purposeful once but sorry, tell me if anything else needs tagging, this story got very out of hand very quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 20:46:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6581509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lackyducks/pseuds/Lackyducks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They all have a list of seven names down their arm. Seven names filled with colour.</p><p>On everyone's arm one of those names was black.</p><p>Adam's was white.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bet My Life

**Author's Note:**

> This is a soulmate au where your soulmate's name is on your wrist. When you first touch (skin to skin) the name fills in with a colour that's meaningful to your soulmate. When your soulmate dies the name goes to black if you haven't met them. If you have, it becomes white. They say it's because it's preparing you to meet in the next life.
> 
> The line breaks are generally splitting different narratives, kinda? It's hard to explain. I hope it's not too difficult to get a hold of.
> 
> Enjoy!

Their relationship is… Unconventional at best. In a city where even a friendship is a dangerous mission to undertake, the seven of them are very, _very_ unconventional. It isn't like they intended it to happen this way. It just, happened. They don't know exactly how.

Did it start with Bruce, bringing the first three of them together? Broken adults from broken pasts who knew how to handle a gun better than they could people. Bruce, haunted by the white names listed down his arm, wondering how he could have gotten this far without filling one of them (and he refused to think how one was already _black_ and he  could never know the person attached to that name.)

Did it start with James, who jumped when they accidentally touched after a job? And as they pulled their sleeves down  to stare in shock, grinned and pulled out his phone, simply saying ‘I have to call my wife.’

Maybe Joel, who appeared in their lives with the subtlety of a performer in the main spotlight? Who had been a simple transfer from another section of the company on lease with them. Who heard their names and pulled the closest person (James) in for a kiss and declared they were never getting rid of him.

Sean, perhaps? Their newest hand, nicknamed Spoole. They had spent a full week wondering who _Sean_ was as, one by one, their names filled in. It was only when Elyse, visiting them at work, noticed the familiar list of names that she had dragged him to properly meet the others.

Could it have started with Lawrence, who took matters into his own hand and turned up on their doorstep, a tablet with their information on it held up as a greeting? Who'd simply shook Adam's hand as he stood in shock and let himself in, commenting on their ‘out-dated tech’.

Did it start with Elyse, who heard what they didn't? Who overheard the murmurs of conversation from their bosses. They'd listened in panic as she told them how they planned to sell Joel to prostitution, claim he was missing. How they wanted to, one by one, get rid of them for a profit.

It probably started on the night they left. A night of guns, explosions, as they left nothing behind to be found. They wiped out their work, started anew, covered in the blood of their bosses. All of them sat in their shared house, smiling and laughing, promises of a new future together on their lips. If any of them (them _all_ ) took a moment to think of that one, blacked out name on their wrists, the one who’d never get to share this, they didn’t say it aloud.

Or, did it start with Adam? Did it start back in high school, with two kids smiling in a park, an uncertain but promising future ahead of them. Their hands entwined, names matching in neat rows, splashes of colour in two identical places.

Maybe that.

 

* * *

 

“RT’s given us a new job.” Joel’s voice calls through the house, moments before he appears around the doorway. Adam glances up from where he’s sat, his legs wrapped in Bruce’s as the two lower their controllers. Lawrence pulls his headphones off and soon after Spoole strides through the door and plops down on his lap. Elyse and James follow, simply taking the spare sofa with Joel. The files drop onto the table, a small ‘thud’. Lawrence leans over and only takes in a few details before he’s typing back away on the laptop (now resting on the chair’s arm. Spoole watches him.) It’s Bruce who leans forward and picks the files up, flicking through the information. He looks up at Joel, frowning.

“This doesn’t seem like the normal kind of job.” He says, because it isn’t. This has Adam sitting up to read them too. Joel sighs, exasperated. He holds his hand up, opens his mouth, but then drops it again.

“I don’t get it, really. They know we don’t have the skills for a torture job. What are they suggesting we do? Annoy them into talking?” He says, instead of whatever he must have had planned.

Spoole snorts, “You could just sing at them until they beg for mercy.” It’s Bruce and Elyse who burst into uncontained laughter, the others smiling and rolling their eyes. Joel stands, letting Elyse fall into his space in the sofa with a gasp.

“I will withhold bed privileges, Sean!” Joel threatens, but he’s smiling too.

“You can sleep with me on the sofa!” Elyse calls, and Joel lets out a squawk that has Elyse and Spoole laughing together. Joel turns to Adam, holds his hand out towards Elyse, gesturing angrily. Adam just shrugs, barely hiding his grin. Joel opens his mouth, ready to take another jab, when Lawrence stops typing, twists his laptop around.

“There’s surprisingly little about this guy. Only a first name and that he’s a sniper.” Lawrence explained, and the amount of data to simply get _that_ made Adam’s head swim. Joel stepped over to look closer, mouth still open. Elyse tilted onto the armrest, unable to see the screen with Joel in her way. She instead looked at Lawrence.

“What’s his name, then?” She asked. Lawrence smirked, tilting his laptop back.

“Matthew.”

 - - - - -

It had been Bruce who first noticed the name on Adam's arm. Adam usually wore long sleeves, hiding away the list of names. They understood, they knew his parents never approved, that he still struggled with what his childhood had taught. Adam was repulsed by the list the same way Bruce was drawn to it.

The sunlight was slicing the room, a thin line across the bed. Adam was still asleep. He lay across Bruce’s chest, arm outstretched to the side. Bruce realised, through his groggy mind, that his wrist was pointing to him. At first he thought it was a trick of the light. A mere illusion from the strip of sun. It was when he wiped away the sleep, focused a little harder he realised that no, it wasn't. Thinking now, he doesn't know what he thought could lie on Adam’s list. Maybe one of them was missing, maybe he had more soulmates than them?

Or, instead, where they had a black name, he had a white

\- - - - -

“I’m beginning to wonder if it’s possible to get this dude.” James grumbles, taking his headphones off to stretch back in his seat. Bruce reaches over to pat his shoulder, his attention still not quite off his computer screen. “Just, we have a name. That’s it. That’s all we have. And, not only that, that’s all the Fakes could get. They have a more dedicated IT team than _we_ do.”

“Our IT team is literally just Lawrence.” Joel points out as he slides a drink to James, on the walk back to his computer. James just groans loudly, throwing his arms up. There's a small, wheezy laugh from Spoole at James’ frustration and James turns to glare at him. It's Elyse who strides over, picks James up by the arm, and drags him into another room before he starts a fight in the middle of the floor.

“They’re going to have sex.” Adam speaks to himself, his expression neutral. Joel peeks around his computer screen before he shrugs.

“I’m going to join them.” He announces, striding off in the same direction. Finally, this catches the attention of Lawrence and he looks up from his computer, simply raising an eyebrow. He looks towards Spoole, who simply shrugs in reply. Adam sighs and falls onto his hands.

“What's eating you then?” Bruce slides over, ever vigilant to Adam's small indicators. It took them all a while to be used to his odd habits, the strange ways he displays what he wants. They handle it better now, but Bruce has always been one of the best.

“This is one guy, Bruce. One guy. It's been three _days_.” Adam voices his frustration. Bruce pulls him into an awkward side hug, half out of his chair. Adam relaxes into the hold all the same, closing his eyes and breathing out some of the tension. “It just, doesn’t make sense. We’re tearing ourselves apart over this. Shouldn’t we just let RT deal with it?” Bruce pauses for a moment, and Adam glances up to Bruce’s face, letting his momentary fear dissolve again at his contemplative expression.

“We’ll give it a little while. I don’t think the guys would give up that easily.” Bruce answers, and Adam decides that’s fair. They’re all stubborn, in the end. They would all hold out for pride and some kind of honour. It’s just the way they are, the seven of them.

\- - - - -

When James noticed it, he didn't say anything. Adam's shirt had ridden upwards as they watched a movie and James couldn't help but glance. He was always reassured by seeing that black name on the other's arms. It was morbid, but somehow knowing they suffered that loss together made it easier. Seeing the name threw him in a confused loop. He stole a look at the other's faces, trying to see if they knew. He locked eyes with Bruce and tried to point it out. When Bruce shook his head, he knew to drop it.

If he traced his own black name, curiousity over its lost owner in his mind, well, that was his own problem.

\- - - - -

“We have a lead.” Joel announces as he strides in through the door. All of them perk up. He’d been in an urgent meeting with RT, Elyse with him. She follows, looking brighter than she has since this mission began. Her eyes are still tired, but she’s smiling and she glows. They’re all quick to gather around Joel. He holds a piece of paper carefully, small writing around the edges of it. It’s written in pen, some numbers in there.

“Well, let us see it.” Lawrence says. He’s been one of the most annoyed - his usual skills not helping him when there’s nothing to find. So, when Joel turns the paper around, revealing a grainy looking photo, it feels more like a miracle has occurred. They all examine it for the few seconds before Lawrence snatches it. He heads to one of the computers, simply scanning it before laying the picture onto the whiteboard, courtesy of their projector. It’s even grainier, from the resizing, but surprisingly easier to look at. The small notes are the date and time, the exact coordinates of the camera. Joel takes his place at the front of the image.

“The photo was captured immediately after he stole the kill of one of RT’s snipers. It was deleted soon after, but thankfully someone managed to pull it before it was.” He turns to look at the image and smiles, “This is our guy.”

It’s odd, really, because besides for the sniper in his hands, midway through dismantling it, he looks normal. His eyes are mostly hidden by his hoodie, shadowing over his face. The hoodie itself is baggy, dark and it blends in with the surroundings. Despite the concentration on his face, there’s a small smile, proudness of his kill steal. There’s silence in the room as they all look at him, trying to pick out any details.

“We’ll need to send someone to the site.” Bruce speaks up, “Adam, Spoole, you two head over. Lawrence, see if you can get a clearer image. One where he’s looking up, maybe. Joel, Elyse, James, talk to contacts, see what you can find out about this job and who set it. We can try and find more about our mysterious man through that.”

“And what do you plan on doing?” James points out.

“I’m going to join Adam and Spoole. I don’t think we’ll be long.” Bruce answers without needing to think. James nods, accepting this. They all look around at each other and there’s an agreement across them all. They separate, preparing for their jobs.

\- - - - -

Elyse saw it as they were fighting. It wasn’t angry fighting. They’d both had a long day, they were frustrated, and they deciding that rolling around on the ground was a great way to release some of their tension. Elyse managed to pin Adam, after a few minutes, strong hands holding his above him. Adam tested the grip, and then relaxed, smiling very slightly. Elyse smiled back, leaning down to kiss him. She saw the name on the way down, it barely even seemed like a big deal at the time. She just continued the kiss, and what came after.

It was a much bigger deal late at night with only gentle breaths to distract her.

\- - - - -

It’s finally coming together. They've got the mission planned out. It was simple, once they’d made the right connections. Now they’re going to do it, at last. The excited energy buzzes the air around the table, all of them sitting around it as Bruce and Adam explain the mission. There’s a few RT employees as well, sitting at the edge out of the way. They’re simply there to make sure it makes sense and will work.

“So, we've scoped out around the site for potential places he may be.” Bruce is explaining. The plan is basic, child’s play. RT places a job out on a target (an actor, to be replaced with a dummy at the site.) One of the other undercover RT employees places a word in about it to their guy, he takes the bait and goes after the job. “Lawrence is going to be on the cameras, he’ll inform us when this guy shows up. We’re all going to be nearby the possible locations. If Lawrence gives the word, you move in.” He begins to circle the rooftops, annotating names.

“You’re putting Joel and Spoole on fieldwork?” Elyse asks.

“They’re members of the team too.” Adam defends. Elyse nods but motions towards the two.

“Yeah, but Spoole’s our sniper and back up guy.” She looks at Joel, “And he’s… Joel.” Joel’s mouth drops open and he folds his arms in a fake strop. “Aw, c’mon buddy, I still love you, even if you suck at fighting.” Elyse teases, placing gentle kisses up his neck, tugging him so she can reach better. Joel melts into her touch.

“They’re in the least likely locations.” Bruce points out, “The ones with the most difficult vantage points or least closed space. It’s not likely the sniper will go there.” They settle down again, (except Joel, who Elyse has now started to tease more discreetly.) “If all goes to plan, we apprehend this guy and it’s a mission success.”

“The operation is in two days. I will be making sure everyone has enough sleep,” Adam pointedly stares at Lawrence as he says this, “and I hope you will help each other too. This is gonna be simple as long as we do it right.”

“That’s usually where we go wrong.” James smirks and Elyse reaches to hit him. “No, I mean, it’ll go perfectly guys. No _way_ it can go wrong. We’re just that good-”

“Okay, shut up smartass.” Elyse reprimands lightly. James laughs and the others smile. But, when that’s done, Spoole speaks up, softly.

“What do we do after?” He asks and a silence settles over the group. Adam and Bruce look at each other, nervous. Adam takes a breath and answers.

“If we’re lucky, shake him up a bit. See if there’s more to it or if he’s just picked the wrong target. If not, well.” He trails off and everyone knows what’s implied anyway. It leaves a cold feeling in their chests.

“If it comes to that, we’ll deal with it.” One of the RT employees speaks up, Meg, if they remember correctly. She steps forward, “This is simply to test your ability in a new situation, you’ve done pretty great so far.” She smiles warmly at them.

“Thanks, ma'am.” Adam returns her smile, “Meeting dismissed guys, you know what you’re supposed to be doing.” The moment he says those words and the others turn, Meg lightly spins him around, gesturing for him to come away from the other guys. She only takes him to the corner, eyes deadly cold and serious.

“I’m sorry to spring this on you, but you’re needed out of city for a special mission.” She tells him. “We’ll supply you with one of our guys to make up numbers but-”

“Wait, wait, wait, why me? Can’t one of you guys go?” Adam interrupts her. She sighs, and Adam notices how she seems annoyed with it too.

“It’s RT’s annual meet and greet.” She explains, “They always request a specific person from each department to go along. This time it’s you.” Adam blinks at her and she huffs, placing her hands on her hips, “Just take it as an opportunity to mingle. You can hide in the back somewhere if you want, even. They just won’t let go of it being the most important thing. We had a whole date night planned but _no_.” She stops her rambling, when her companion chuckles. She glares at her until they're both giggling.

“Is this a formal party or?” Adam asks, trying to keep her on task. She snaps back to attention.

“Yep! There'll be more info tomorrow to try and prevent party crashers.” She grinned, “See you there!” Then she turns and leaves, Adam left with a heavy weight in his chest.

\- - - - -

It was Joel who finally commented on it. They had been kissing, hands under shirts, cold against the warmth. Joel had pulled Adam's shirt off, tossing it to the side lazily. When he caught sight of the name, he stopped.

“Adam, why’s your name-” Adam got up immediately, pushing Joel off his lap and onto the ground. Joel groaned, his head slamming against the edge of the coffee table. Adam jumped, turned and fled. It took hours to coax him from the bathroom, another hour of letting Adam cry onto his shoulder before he calmed down.

It was after, as his head was carefully tended to, that Joel knew not to mention it again.

\- - - - -

“Everyone in position?” There’s a cluster of small affirmatives from the group, and Lawrence watches the cameras carefully. He sees the dummy be set up, it’s a very basic android, set to just walk in and stand there, another actress talking to it. He’s amazed by how many females RT seems to have stored away with incredible acting skills. There’s a prolonged silence, none of the fooling around they usually have. Maybe for once they understand the seriousness of the situation. Despite it being what Lawrence usually wishes for, he hates it.

There’s movement on one of the cameras, a small hooded figure reaching up and grabbing the side of the building, barely captured by the camera. Lawrence watches for a moment as he pulls himself up onto the windowsill, carefully squeezing through the open glass. Then he grins.

“Building A, James, that’s you. He’s headed to the top. Everyone else, be ready to block off nearby roads.” Lawrence sends the commands out.

“Got it.” Is James’ reply and Lawrence can hear the others move, can see their tracker change location on the map. He keeps a close eye on each of them, until James finally says, “Can see him. Engaging now.”

It’s like everyone suddenly holds their breath, the moment to see if their plans are truly going to go well. Lawrence has the perfect view of it on the camera they’d set up. He watches as the hooded man jumps, still impeded by the huge gun he was aiming as James comes up behind him. There’s a lapse in movement and then James is on him, the small taser being pressed under the hoodie. James has a hold on the man’s arms as he locks up, legs falling beneath him. He can hear the shout of pain through the headset and he winces.

“Target secure.” James says and there’s a cheer from all of them. “Larr, what am I supposed to do now?” And Lawrence sighs, calling for Bruce and Elyse to help James whilst Joel and Spoole prep the car. He also sends a quick text to Adam, making sure he knows they did it. He laughs when seconds later there’s a string of smileys.

“What are you finding so funny, huh?” Joel asks and Lawrence shakes his head.

“I think half a second is a record for text responses from Adam.” He explains and there’s a chuckle from the others. There’s a hum from Joel and seconds later a small ping sounds off. “Joel we’re supposed to be professional! We are literally kidnapping a guy!”

“I only sent a selfie, look!” Joel protests and moments later Lawrence’s phone vibrates as well. He unlocks it and looks at the picture anyway, smiling at the dumb look on Joel’s face as he pulls Spoole into frame with him. Then there’s another text from Adam, simply reading ‘tfw your bf sends you selfies whilst on a mission’. Lawrence laughs. “What did he say?! Lawrence, tell me!” Joel whines.

“Get home and I can show you.” Lawrence prompts him.

“Consider it done.” Joel tells him and he smiles to himself, leaning back in his chair. That went well.

\- - - - -

Spoole saw it entirely by accident. Adam had reached down to hand him a part he needed, his wrist sticking where Spoole could see from under the car. He frowned, glad Adam couldn't see his expression. The name was gone quickly and he began to wonder if he simply imagined it. It was only confirmed when he timidly brought it up with Bruce. They all knew (besides Lawrence, yet to join them) about the name. Yet none of them knew _why._ And from Adam's reaction, they knew they wouldn't find out for a while.

He felt a peculiar longing that night.

\- - - - -

It turns out, not very shockingly, that they have no idea what they’re doing. The guy just, doesn’t _talk_. He hadn’t said a word since James originally got him. It’s getting a bit worrying. They’ve been finding themselves even calling the guy by name, nickname, even. Suffice to say, they aren’t very good at this.

Adam’s due back tomorrow, but they keep him updated through their frequent calls and texts. Adam finds it incredibly endearing, even if he chides them for not working.

It's Elyse’s turn with Matt. They've been careful about their own names, very careful. She wonders, as she enters, whether somebody is worried about their ‘Matthew’. The thought of causing discomfort for someone not even involved still settles badly with her. Alas, she's a criminal. He chose to fuck with the wrong people. He should have thought of the consequences.

He's dozing before she enters. His head is tilted downwards and she can see the small movement of his chest. His eyes shoot upwards as the door slams behind her. For a split second she can see his fear, in how his eyes widen and his jaw tightens - in how his arms strain against the binds keeping them behind the chair. A split second and then it's gone, and a neutral expression takes its place. His eyes stay locked with her's. She sighs, rolling her eyes as she drops down to his level.

“You’re causing us a shit ton of trouble, you know?” She laments, standing again and beginning to pace in a circle. His eyes don’t follow her, watch the ground instead. “All you need to do is explain, seriously. That’s it. Just a simple ‘I’m not doing this for any other reason other than bad fucking luck’ but instead, this!” She waves her hand, “Like, holy shit, how stubborn have got to be? Unless you’re actually doing this for a reason in which case you get RT instead of us and they’re actually trained to do this shit and that will not be pleasant. For you.” She realises it also won’t be pleasant for any of them, knowing they had to send this guy to that fate. She doesn’t say that bit to him.

Finally, she stops. She stands in front of him and crouches again. This guy, Matt, watches her and she deflates under his gaze. She drops back, lets her head hit the ground and looks up to the ceiling. There’s a surprisingly comfortable silence.

“So, got any family?” She tries, nothing. “Any hobbies? Besides the whole sniping thing?” Nope. “Favourite food?” No. “You like video games?”

“A few.”

She sits up immediately.

\- - - - -

As it was with many things, Lawrence was the one to take it a bit further. Had he used his skills to try and find anything possible about the name before? Yes. He most definitely had - it was part of why he was a hacker. When he saw the name, on Adam’s wrist, it was accidental, sure. But looking it up afterwards was not. Renewed with a full name to search, he was able to find school records, he was able to find pictures. He never showed the others, out of selfishness or fear of their reaction, maybe both. He never told Adam, when his boyfriends sat down to explain to him about the name - he understood he made the right decision. It still hurts him sometimes. He looks at his boyfriends - his _soulmates_ \- and knows that he kept this from them.

He kept a picture on his phone.

\- - - - -

Adam gets home.

It’s late, and there’s not time to do much. He unpacks his toothbrush and brushes his teeth, takes off his jeans and simply collapses onto the edge of the bed. It’s when he wakes, things set off. He awakes to Spoole, gently nudging his shoulder with soft words.

“Adam~ Elyse made breakfast and if you don’t wake up they’re sending-” He doesn’t finish the words because then there’s Joel (a statement within itself.) Within seconds, Spoole is gone, a cry marking his tumble off the bed and instead Joel is on top of him, louder and bouncing hyperactively. Adam forces himself awake a lot faster until he can understand Joel’s tumble of words, and can gently push Joel back. Joel looks more alert than Adam has felt in his life, despite the still messy curls and rumpled shirt. Spoole pushes himself up from the floor, rubs at his head.

“Oh, hi Sean!” Joel greets, his tone casual but the smirk on his face not. Spoole rolls his eyes, helps Adam out of bed.

“We made progress with the guy whilst you were on the plane!” Spoole tells him, happily, “Even if we only got him to talk about video games.” Joel throws an arm around Sean, pulling him so he falls into his side.

“Which, trust me, is still an accomplishment.” He says, brushing loose curls from his face. Adam smiles at the two and Joel grabs him, tugs him into the awkward hug as well. Adam smiles at Spoole, and Spoole smiles back. Joel sighs in content, simply holding the two there.

“Can we leave the cuddles until after you’ve ate my amazing breakfast?” The three look over at Elyse, leaning against the doorframe with a warm smile. Joel purses his lips.

“Does that mean I am definitely getting cuddles?” He asks and Elyse laughs. She walks over, rubs her hand in the curls.

“Babe, you’ll get so many cuddles.” Elyse tells him, a laugh in her tone. Joel beams at her as if she is the sun and he is one of her rays. Adam just rolls his eyes.

It’s Spoole,  _lovely_ Spoole, who leans over to him and whispers, “ _Straight_ ~” and Adam can’t contain the violent laughter that erupts from him. Once he’s calmed down, it takes a while, all four of them are on the bed and all lying with their arms across each other. They look at each other and smile.

A few minutes later, an exasperated Bruce collects them with words of ‘Holy shit you guys’ and ‘Seriously Elyse you tried to fight James last time he let your food go cold.’ Adam still didn’t get to eat anything. As he enters, Lawrence stands up and places a tray of food into his hands. Adam raises his eyebrows and Lawrence motions off down the corridor.

“You’ve not met the guy yet. Go give him some food.” Lawrence tells him. Elyse pushes down on Lawrence’s shoulders.

“It’s the door with the electronic lock!” She supplies, cheerfully.

“When did we get an electronic lock?” Adam asks, slowly blinking at the two. Elyse shrugs and turns her attention back to eating. Lawrence watches her a second longer before replying.

“We moved him from the office to the spare room when he started talking. Felt bad to leave him back there.” Lawrence shrugs and now he looks down the hallway, “He’s still handcuffed to the bed but be careful when you enter. Don’t want him to jump you or something.”

“Smash him with the tray!” James calls, his voice deep and his blue eyes still barely open where he slumps on the table. Elyse gives him a thumbs up. Adam just smiles and shakes his head.

“Right, I’ll be back in a bit.” He says, and there’s a variety of goodbyes and one ‘don’t die’ and Adam wonders, briefly, what he did to get these six as his partners because he surely doesn’t deserve them. At the door, he stalls. The lock is just a basic four digit code, and he knows what it is without needing to ask. For criminals, they should use better codes but hey, it works. He pushes the door open with his shoulder, two hands back on the tray. His shoulders are tense, ready to strike out as he cautiously leans in.

Adam sees who’s on the bed.

\- - - - -

Adam notices the white name on his wrist before he passes out.

 

* * *

 

"Hey." A voice called, up at Adam. Adam looked down from the tree, at the person stood beneath. They were small, figure obscured by a baggy hoodie. Curly brown hair fell over their shoulders and eyes like melted caramel looked up at him inquisitively. They tilted their head.  
  
"Hi?" Adam said, in response. He didn't know the procedure for someone suddenly intruding on his tree  - the one place he went to hide from the other kids. The person looked around behind them. The other school kids were off chatting, playing, eating. They were still thirteen.  
  
"Room for one more?" They asked and Adam shrugged. They took it as a yes and grabbed at the lower branch. They swung themselves up, perching there before climbing higher. They settled on the opposite side of the tree to Adam and pulled out a book. Adam watched them for a moment. Eventually, he turned back. He supposed he just had a tree friend now. That was fine.

\- - - - -

It continued like that for the year.

\- - - - -

It changed one lesson. The dreaded words, 'pairs' was spoken and the two found themselves looking at each other. Adam tilted his head and they shrugged. So, Adam grabbed his bag and walked over. He grabbed the next door seat. The teacher explained the project (it was about soulmates. Adam would later realise the irony.) and then they were left to talk. Adam turned to them and they turned to him.  
  
"So, my house or yours?" They asked, simply. Adam thought of his parents, of their comments of 'See isn't she a nice girl? Settle down with her Adam. You can't have seven soulmates, after all.' He sighed.  
  
"Yours." He said. They nodded. Their pen was carefully balanced between their fingers, ready to start writing. They did, soon enough. It was scruffy, but perfectly legible and Adam thought it fit someone who wore oversized hoodies and jeans constantly. Adam watched as they worked on a spider diagram. He only realised he hadn't said anything when they looked up, raised an eyebrow at him

“You okay?” They asked, softly. Adam nodded. They nodded back. Adam still didn't say anything, just watched the diagram grow more complex and smiled.

Adam found the words, “What do you think about soulmates?” slipped out before he realised he said it. It was only meant to be a thought to himself. Being in a such an, unusual situation as he is. They stopped working and looked up at Adam. Those eyes, ferocious as the sun with how the light caught them, met his.

“I don't really have an opinion.” They said. The words seem forced. “For some people they can be great.”

“And others?” Adam prompted, knowing what the answer would be.

“Others aren't as lucky.” They said and that was it. Adam nodded and said no more, simply watched them add another branch of information.

\- - - - -

Matilda.

That was their name.

Adam looked at the name on his arm and he wondered but he couldn't be sure. And as he looked up how many ’Matilda’s were currently alive in the world he knew it couldn't be right. There was no way, the probability simply couldn't be right. Surely they'd have said something, too. They knew his name, hell they shared phone numbers. Surely they’d have mentioned _something_. After being friends for a year?

(Truthfully, Adam simply didn't believe it could be that easy. That he could meet his soulmate just like, that. Nothing was ever easy for Adam.)

Adam ignored how his heart jumped when his phone buzzed with the simple text: ‘Good night.’

\- - - - -

“All these success stories are crap.” Adam muttered to himself. They glanced over to him, sat on their bed with their knees pulled up to their chest. Adam noticed how they wore a dress now, how their parents had commented on their prettiness. Adam agreed.

“Find some better ones, then.” They offered, plainly. Adam sighed in frustration, stretching back over the desk chair. Their room was small but nice. It was cozy, plain, with their desk, covered in homework, books and currently their laptop; their bed pressed up against the wall; a tall dresser and bamboo blinds that blocked out the glaring sunlight. Like everything, it fit them perfectly.

“What _is_ better, ‘Tilley?” Adam asked with his teasing tone.

They smiled, shook their head, replied, “Subjective.” Adam threw a cup at them, reaching for the pencils on the desk as they laughed, tried to block the items with their pillow. Adam couldn't help noticing the gloves they wore, similar to Adam's wristband for the days it was simply too hot for long sleeves. But he couldn't care, it would be hypocritical and right now, the high pitched happy laughter they were making was far nicer a focus.

“How dare you defy me with your sarcasm, miss!” Adam joked and they laughed louder, kicking their legs up. Adam finally gave up, instead jumped on them, reaching to tickle their sides.

And stopped.

He had brushed their hand.

He had brushed their hand and his wrist was _burning._

He panicked, fell back as they sat, stunned before instinct kicked in, they moved to catch him and it was too much, _too_ _much._

“I need to leave.” Adam said, standing out of their grip, watching as their face fell and it _hurt._

“Adam no, please, we need to talk about this, _please._ ” They begged, their face wide open and _raw_ and god Adam was scared, he was so scared. This wasn't meant to happen, fantasies in your head are never supposed to happen. There's a reason you only imagine scenarios and know that it would never be like that and it could never-

He registered the soft hand on his cheek.

He opened his eyes to gentle brown, glimmering golden. Long eyelashes framed them, framed the gentle worry held in them. He could see the freckles dashed against their nose, flicked there as if by a paintbrush and they were the masterpiece. The waves of their hair glimmered in the sunlight behind them and they looked like an _angel._

“Adam?” They whispered, and the breath was so soft against Adam's mouth. “Adam, may I kiss you?”

And Adam smiled because for some reason, this ethereal being wanted to kiss _him_ and they were nervous, as if the question was more of a dangerous secret.

Adam kissed them first.

It was clunky, they were inexperienced. They were two sixteen year olds who were in love. Their noses bumped and they made a small noise of surprise. Both of them giggled, tilting their heads correctly. Their lips met and it reminded Adam of stirring melted chocolate, slow and sweet. They broke apart again, foreheads resting against the other's. Adam's hand was resting on their neck, gently cradling it under their hair. Their hands were wrapped over his shoulders.

“So, you okay to talk now?” They asked and Adam nodded.

\- - - - -

That night, they sat up late at the park. The stars were mostly hidden by the streetlights. They compared their wrists, smiled at the names on them. Adam's was a burgundy on their wrist and their’s was a light blue on his.

(Even if they never met the other names, they would've been happy together.)

\- - - - -

Eighteen years old.

The two were still going strong, they hadn’t had sex (as per their request. Adam didn’t mind, as long as they were comfortable.) and he often stayed over at their house. Once, they’d stayed in a hotel room, just so they could sleep out on the balcony. It was nice, Adam realised, to have someone that he trusted, cared about, and who cared about him in return. They rarely fought, and if they did they reconciled within the week. Adam was completely in love. It scared him, always had, but seeing them smile their small nervous smile, or seeing them laugh at one of his dumb jokes… It was okay.

Adam’s parents still didn’t know.

Both were smart enough to not tell, afraid of Adam’s parents and their false sweetness. It creeped them out, Adam knew. It was why they never stayed at his house, Adam himself spent as much time as possible away from his house. So, this really wasn’t unexpected.

“Show me your names!” Adam snatched his hand from his dad, glaring at him. His mother was stood in the way of the door and he quickly glanced around, trying to think of some kind of plan.

“Why should I?” Adam said back, voice level as he could keep it. His dad had the audacity to seem surprised at the rebellion. He stepped forward, crowding into Adam’s space. Adam stepped backwards, bumping against the kitchen counter. He jumped, quickly hiding it with the glare.

“Because we are your parents, we have a right to know.” His dad told him, firmly.

“You don’t have a right to anything.” Adam countered. His dad reached forward, forced Adam to lean back over the counter, and grabbed at his wrist, sharply yanking it forwards. Adam shouted, in pain and shock. He tried to pull it back but the grip held fast. His dad scratched at the band hiding away the names. He pulled it away, nails dragging down Adam’s arm.

“He has!” His dad announced, holding the wrist up for his wife to look at. “So who’s this Matilda, then?” Adam ground his teeth, refusing to speak. “Oh, does she refuse to be with you? Is that why we’ve not seen her? She doesn’t want to be with a freak with seven soulmates like you?”

“Get off!” Adam yelled, because any composure he managed to hold onto was gone down. It was gone with the tears gathering in his eyes. He used his dad’s surprise to rip free of his grasp, run underneath his arm. His mother had moved from the door, curious to see his arm. He hit it open, running furiously out of the house.

They didn’t live far from him. When he rang the doorbell their parents answered. They were nice, sweet people that found their daughter’s numerous soulmates odd but supported her anyway. Adam wished he had that.

“Oh darling, what happened?” Their mother knelt down to his level, wiping away the tears from his cheeks as she ushered him inside. Within seconds, they were next to their mother, eyes wide.

“Adam? Adam, please talk to us.” They held their hands up, as if they wanted to touch him but were too afraid. Adam scrunched his eyes, looking down as he wiped them on his sleeve. It felt off not wearing the band to hide them, the sleeve was stretched around it.

“They found out.” Adam choked out, “They found out I found you.” They stepped forward, their mother stepping back to allow them to wrap their arms around Adam. They leaned up, placing gentle kisses to his cheeks. Adam sighed, hands scrunched up in their hoodie. They stayed like that until Adam stopped crying.

He stepped back, smiling at their mother and father who stood by cautiously. They turned around, jumping at their parents still being there. Adam smiled, puffed a small laugh.

“Thank you.” He said, seriously. They smiled at him.

“You're welcome to stay as long as you want.” They replied, just as serious. It was then that their mother stepped forward. Both of them watched her.

“You two,” She started, “are both eighteen now. If you wanted to move to an apartment together, we have decided we'll help pay for it.” She motioned to their father as she spoke. Adam turned to them, mouth open slightly. They grinned, widely, throwing their arms around their mother.

“Yes! That would be amazing!” They exclaimed, buried in their mother's arms. They paused, looking back to Adam. “If you want to, of course. I don't want to force-”

“No. It would be amazing, really.” Adam waved his hands, a smile stretching across his face. They smiled again, the tenseness dropping from their shoulders. Their mother held her other arm open and Adam grinned wider, joining the hug.

\- - - - -

Adam couldn’t help his shout as the poster unhooked from the wall, curling onto him in seconds. They rounded the corner, grabbing the door to slow themselves down. Then looked at the situation and laughed.

Adam turned, poster still on his head and folded his arms, “Oh, ha ha.” They stepped over, raising the poster so they could see Adam. Adam who was still frowning at them. They laughed, again, raising their hand to cover their mouth. Then, they leaned forward to plant a kiss on his nose.

“Should I help?” They asked. Adam smirked, leaning up again with the poster in his hands.

“You’re too short.” He commented.

“I resent that comment.” They said and Adam laughed, dropping the poster again. They jumped forward to catch it, hair bouncing as they did. They held it up with one hand, the other brushing the locks from their face. “Do you think I should cut it?”

“Cut what?” Adam asked, absently.

They sighed, “My hair, Adam. The thing on your head.” Adam turned to look at them for a second.

“I think it looks okay, but it’s your call.” He turned back to the poster. “Any reason why?”

“I don’t know…” Adam paused, putting the poster down so he could focus fully on them. They dropped their eyes. “I just, it makes me feel uncomfortable? I don’t know why but I’ve been wondering about gender and stuff, and it’s weird. I like dresses and I like skirts but just- I don’t know. Being female, kind of… It doesn’t seem right?”

Adam sat back on the bed, patting the space next to them. They looked up, surprised for a moment. Then they sat next to him. Adam put an arm around them, letting them lean onto his shoulder.

“Is there anything you want me to do for you then? Whilst you figure it out?” He offered. They tilted their head up to look at him.

“Could you, call me a ‘they’? Rather than a ‘she’? It just feels better, for now.” They said, pausing as they tried to explain it.

Adam nodded, “Yeah, sure. Anything else?”

“No, that’s all.” They said, snuggling more into Adam. Adam laughed, softly. He reached a hand up, gently ran his fingers through their hair, careful to avoid any tangles in there. They hummed in content.

“You wanna help me put that poster up now?” Adam asked. They groaned, whacking him. Adam just laughed, pulling them tighter into his side.

\- - - - -

It went wrong.

It could never just be easy, Adam had known it from the start. They were in their twenties now, living life happily together. It was stupidly domesticated. They’d cut their hair, looked a lot less feminine than what Adam was used to. He liked it, especially how much happier they seemed with the haircut. They both worked small jobs, juggling work and their studies. Adam didn’t have many friends, neither did they. It came with being the weirdos with seven soulmates. The friends they had weren’t close. But, life was good.

Life was good and it went _wrong_.

Adam was always all or nothing. He’d work until he got sick or he’d procrastinate for weeks. He would be touchy, clingy or he’d want a mile away from any other human (they always gave him a blanket and gave him time alone.) He’d eat and eat and eat or wouldn’t eat at all. It was always like that.

It went wrong because Adam looked down an alleyway to see a man get shot in the head.

All or nothing.

And Adam walked out alive with a debt he’d never be able to pay.

\- - - - -

“Something’s wrong.” They said because they always knew. They were sat next to him, watching some old show. Adam looked to them, at their concerned face.

“I’m fine.” Adam replied. They frowned.

“No you’re not.” They said, “You’ve not been fine for a while.” Adam shook his head.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” Adam, again, tried to shut them down.

“It’s not if it’s botheri-”

“Matilda, it’s _fine_. Drop it.” He cut them off. They flinched, eyes widening. Then, they sat up straight, away from him, watched the television screen.

“Fine.”

\- - - - -

Adam didn’t come back until the early morning. He put more effort into selling drugs that night than he had done before.

They were asleep on the sofa when he returned.

\- - - - -

Adam shot the man.

Adam shot the man that had shot some other man in an alleyway a year ago. Adam had shot him and there was blood coating the walls. It hadn’t even taken one shot. He’d shot a man, three times in the chest and he had no idea what he was supposed to do now.

Think.

The man was dead.

The weapon, the weapon had fingerprints.

He had blood on him.

He needed to leave.

\- - - - -

Adam wiped the gun and threw it in a river.

He got home while they were still at work. He tore the blood-stained clothes off, showered for almost an hour. He redressed, clean clothes entirely.

Then he packed. He packed whatever he’s need, he packed clothing, a lighter (for the bloodstained ones), the drugs he had left. He packed his toothbrush, toothpaste, some shampoo. He packed an old photo of the two of them, back when they still had long hair, a picture that he took when they once went to a local fair together. Both of them were lit up by the lights, grinning at the camera with the ferris wheel in the background, standing tall. Adam smiled sadly at it as he tucked it into his wallet. (He lost the photo when he came to Los Santos. He was mugged, his wallet stolen. He cried.)

They came home, humming to themselves as they stepped in, calling out a greeting. Adam sat in the bedroom, took a deep breath and picked up the bag. He pushed the door open, walked out into their small living space. They looked up at them, confusion on their face. Confusion and then hurt, panic.

“Adam?” They asked, standing nervously and Adam squeezed his eyes shut, took another breath. “Adam, what are you doing?”

“I- I’m leaving.” He said. They looked like they shattered. They stood in front of Adam, stood between him and the door. Their face was dead set, their tongue reached out to wet their lips. Their eyes were red already.

“Why, what’s wrong? Adam, please, this, isn’t right, this can’t be right.” They looked down at their hands, looked back up again, “Adam?”

“I’m sorry, ‘Tilley. I really am, but-”

“No, don’t say sorry. No, Adam, please, explain this to me, I don’t _understand_.” They interrupted, stepping forward. Adam shook his head, gently put a hand on their shoulder.

“It’s better if you don’t know.” Adam said and they bristled, leaning up to glare at them and they were _crying_ and Adam felt like he was dying.

“No, that isn’t how this works. We’ve been together for eleven years, we’ve been friends longer, you don’t just suddenly decide you’re leaving after that!” They yelled, pulling his hand off him and stepping back, fists bunched at their sides.

“You deserve an actual life!” Adam shouted back (he regrets it now, regrets ever getting angry), “You deserve to meet the other six, you deserve a life better than me!”

“I’m _happy_ with you. I have always _been_ happy with you!” They shook their head, shoulders shaking too, “What do you suggest I tell the rest of **our** soulmates, if I even meet them? Oh, he just- _walked out on me_ one night without even saying why?”

“You don’t have to tell them a thing. Forget about me. I’m not coming back.” Adam pushed past them, not even watching them stumble against the couch, grit their teeth at the pain.

“ _Why_ ? Why, Adam, for fuck’s sake _why_?!” They finally yelled. Adam shut his eyes, opened the door. It was dark out now, a cold wind blew against his skin.

“Because I shot a man, ‘Tilley.” Adam said, “And you deserve something better than a criminal.”

He left.

\- - - - -

It was in a dingy hotel room. Between jobs, again. He found himself there often. Work wasn't frequent when you were a mercenary. It was on and off.

It was barely night time. Some orange was still in the deep sky, only the brightest light able to shine through the pollution of the city. Adam sat by the window, cleaning his gun, looking out at the buildings as the almost night lit up the room.

His wrist burned.

At first he wasn't sure what it was, the feeling from so long ago he didn't recognise it. Then he remembered, and he tore his sleeve down, panic a vice around his chest and he couldn't _breathe_.

Adam noticed the seven whites names on his wrist and his world stopped.

It didn't start again until Bruce and James.

 

* * *

 

Adam wakes up and he's in bed. Spoole’s sprawled out on top of him, sitting in a chair beside the bed but his arms stretch out over Adam. He smiles at the sight, rubbing a hand in his messy locks. Spoole stirs, lifting his head up before he rubs his eyes with his arm.

“Adam, you're awake?” He asks, quietly.

“Yeah, um, what happened exactly?” Adam replies, brushing his unkempt hair back. Spoole frowns in his odd little way, determinedly no longer keeping eye contact. It takes him longer than it should to reply.

“There was just a loud bang? Like, at first we thought you got attacked or something but Matt was still on the bed so we're pretty sure you just fainted.” He rambles, and Adam realises Spoole’s nervous. He tries to think back, door, tray, room. He saw, he saw…

He saw them.

Adam sits up, startling Spoole. Adam's already thrown aside the bed covers by the time Spoole catches himself, speaks.

“Woah, Adam, what's up?” He says and Adam could laugh because it's so _similar_ but oh so _different_ and Adam has always been all or nothing and he has _seven_ soulmates.

“Sean, once upon a time, I met a girl” And Spoole, _wonderful_ Sean, stands and listens, “and that girl was called Matilda. Then one day, she told me that she wasn't sure if she was a she anymore and so she became a they.”

“Were they nice?” Sean asks, and Adam smiles, kisses him on the forehead.

“They were perfect.” Adam says.

“What happened?” Sean looks up at him with big eyes, fear filled and yet still sparkling with his ever open innocence.

“I left.” Adam tells him and he looks shocked, “I promise it's more complicated than that.”

“I believe you.” Sean nods. Adam takes his hand, leads him out of the room. They shut the door gently behind them.

Joel is on him in an instant, his shoulders still tense as he leaps to Adam, puts a hand on his forehead. Adam laughs, pushes his hand down. Joel glares at him.

“Adam, you _fainted_ I will-” Joel snaps. Adam pauses, corrects his attitude to seriousness once more.

“I need to speak to Matthew.” He says, sternly. Joel scowls anyway and Spoole breaks off from the two.

“Adam fucking _Kovic_ , you _apparently_ fainted at the sight of that man you aren't just-!” Joel tries again.

Adam pushes past him, past Joel and to the door only a few steps away. He punches in the code and Joel follows him angrily, muttering with folded arms.

Adam walks into the room. There's a silence. The man on the bed sits up, Adam can see the redness of his wrists in the light. There's a book on the side table. Adam sighs, sits on the bed, holds a hand out to Joel. Joel stares at him, and Adam motions to the handcuffs. Joel huffs and leaves the room, emerging seconds later and dropping the key in Adam's hands. Adam's leans over, unlocks them. Matt still stares at him, rubs his wrists.

Adam lets him, then takes his wrist, pulls the sleeve up, takes off the cuff. There are six white names, and one burgundy. Adam laughs.

“Hey, ‘Tilley.” Adam greets. They look at him, blink a few times and sigh, look away again.

“I’m not them anymore.” He says, and Adam laughs, shakes his head.

“Guess not. Hey then, Matty.” Adam says instead. Matt's lip turns slightly upwards and Adam counts it as a success. He remembers Joel is still stood there and silently thanks him for being silent. But then he feels Matt's mood change, as Matt pushes away from him, points his legs to the wall.

“I thought you said you weren't coming back.” Matt spits. Adam sighs.

“Well, you came to me.” Adam points out.

“What else was I supposed to do? You weren't exactly _looking_ for me.” Matt counters, venom still in his words. Adam pulls down his sleeve, shows Matt the list of names. Matt tenses next to him, Adam feels him forget to breath. “I-”

“We all thought you were dead.” Adam tells him. There's silence. Matt finally takes a shaky breath, though he tenses his hands until the nails dig into flesh. Adam stays quiet, lets him work through it.

“I didn't know.” Matt finally admits, shaky and quiet. Adam nods, rotates his hand so he can hold Matt's. Their lists lay against each other. The positioning is awkward and sore. Adam huffs a laugh.

“So, how did you find us?” Adam asks. Matt shuffles back onto the bed, presses his back to the wall. He finally looks up at Joel, points to beside Adam. Joel sits like a magnet. The bed bounces and there's another pause whilst they shuffle to get comfy again.

“I saw you on the news.” Matt explains, “I saw you about, two years after you left? I just tracked you down from there, tried to get your attention.”

“By stealing our hits?” Joel finally speaks and he sounds a lot less put together than he looks. He always does, Adam knows.

“Only people who didn't like you.” Matt shrugs but there's the barest hint of a smile. Adam's is much more obvious.

“We aren't going to be happy right away.” Adam says. They nod so Adam continues, “There's going to be a lot of discourse but, I want this to work. You were my first.”

“You said I deserved to find my soulmates.” Matt reminds him, absently. He blinks, licks his lips before saying, “I didn't even realise you'd met the rest of them.” Adam laughs, looks at the door.

“I mean, it wasn't really a meeting-” Joel interrupts by standing, holding his hand out. The grin is back, as is cheerful, somewhat devilish look that glints in his eyes. Matt eyes the hand before looking to Joel’s face.

“Well, I'm introducing _myself._ I'm Joel, and I am going to be the best boyfriend _ever._ “ Joel introduces himself. Matt chuckles, meets Joel’s hand. They both see the name fill in, the deep, royal blue that follows Joel. Joel cheers, and then he's jumped on Matt, who lets out a quiet breath that has Adam smiling.

“Guys, is everything-” James bursts into the room at the bang, Bruce follows and Adam can see the others lingering at the door, ready for action. “Oh.”

“James, we're keeping him.” Joel announces. He's somehow manoeuvred on top of Matt, fully wrapped around him like clingfilm. Matt's hands hover awkwardly until he shakes his head, rests them on Joel’s hips.

“Joel you can't just-” Bruce attempts to tell him. Joel turns his head to the side, pressed against Matt still but positioned so he can glare at Bruce. He lifts Matt's wrist.

“You don't understand, we're keeping him.” He states, looking Bruce dead in the eye. Bruce looks at the wrist, looks at the two coloured names, and suddenly his hand is over his mouth. James startles at the sudden sob from Bruce, turns to look at him in shock.

“You absolute asshole!” Bruce yells, which has Matt jumping against Joel, “You are dead, you don't get to just-!”

“Bruce!” It's Elyse who steps forward, grabs Bruce’s wrist from where it's raised, as if ready to strike Matt. “Chill the fuck out!” Bruce shakes out of her grip, spins to her with such fury that has James stepping forward too. In the hallway, Sean cautiously meets Lawrence’s hand.

“ _She,_ ” he throws the word as if it's an insult, pointing to Matt. Matt himself flinches, Adam's stare on Bruce hardening, “is supposed to be dead!”

There's a loud smack, and Elyse has slapped Bruce. She shakes her hand out - shows no sympathy as Bruce grabs his cheek.

“Bruce!” She shouts, “ _He_ is clearly not fucking dead and I cannot _believe_ you would stoop so fucking low!” Quiet falls, except for the sound of heavy breathing. The waves of anger could almost manifest into its own being. Nobody makes a move for some time.

When someone does, it's instantaneous. Bruce opens his mouth, Adam does too. The next insults can almost be felt by the rest of the group.

“Guys!” They fall silent, mouths closing as they look to Sean. Sean’s eyes are shut, fists clenched (one still tightly wrapped in Lawrence’s.) “Can we not fight about this? _Please!_ ” His voice cracks, and Lawrence is immediately reaching for him, pulling Sean into his chest. They stare in surprise as he starts crying. Elyse takes the moment to turn to Bruce, raises her hands to wipe tears off his cheeks.

“I understand that you've mourned for him.” She whispers, “We all have. But please, take this an opportunity. If anything, for Adam.” The two look at Adam, his hand fitting into Matt's perfectly. Bruce takes a deep breath and it shakes a little but, he's calmer, his head clearer. He steps towards Matt, holds his hand out.

“Name's Bruce.” He says. Matt lingers for a moment, holding his free hand up by his side. He meets Bruce’s eyes, shakes his hand. The grip is gentle. Gentle but firm.

“I'm Matthew.” Matt says, despite his flinch as the name fills in. Bruce is a dark green, the colour of fir trees deep in a forest. Bruce watches the colour pour in with relief. “I'm sorry.” Matt adds, when their hands break away.

“No, I'm sorry. It was out of line for me to do that. You didn't know.” Bruce says, and he can see Matt's shoulders relax slightly. Matt shakes his head dismissively anyway. Elyse catches Adam rolling his eyes and wonders once again about the history between the two. She steps forward, grins at Matt and Adam.

“As much as I wish I had another girl, I guess I'm settling for Joel.” She opens, ignoring the small bits of laughter. “Nice to meet you properly, Matt! I'm Elyse.” She holds her fist up and Matt stares at it. He looks up to meet Elyse’s eyes, and she can see the confusion.

Adam leans over, whispers, “It’s a fist-bump.” Matt makes a quiet, appreciative noise. His and Elyse’s hands meet and she feels slightly disappointed as she sees her pastel orange fill in but Matt's name stays black. Matt looks at his wrist - at the names - and smiles. Elyse steps back to let James stand forward.

“I'm James, and as much as I'm disappointed Elyse and I weren't the first couple, it's good to meet you!” James takes Matt's hand and shakes it himself, before pulling Matt forwards into an awkward hug. Matt laughs, hugging back with slightly less caution than before.

“Wait a moment, when did you and Adam become a couple?” Elyse asks, disappointed she's no longer got that to hold over the guy's heads. Matt looks to Adam, tilts his head slightly.

“About sixteen.” Matt answers, quietly. James and Elyse share a shocked look. Bruce laughs at the sight and Joel joins in. The others smile.

Lawrence tugs Sean forwards very gently. He sticks his hand out, takes Matt's.

“Lawrence.” He nods. Then he lets Sean shake his hand.

“I'm Sean, or Spoole, I don't mind and it's really cool to meet you.” Sean smiles, eyes still puffy. Matt's shoulders slump at the sight and his smile mimics that of a lovesick puppy.

“It's, um, cool to meet you too.” Matt replies, as their hands drop back down. Joel jumps back on Matt, wrapping around him but pulling Adam in too. Elyse giggles, gleefully. She claps her hands, rolls back and forth on her feet.

“We need to initiate you into the relationship.” She declares. There's hums of agreement, a contemplative nod from Lawrence.

“Well, that usually involves butt plugs.” He comments. Joel makes a face as Elyse hides her's and Sean just quietly laughs. Bruce and James seem to be seriously considering it. Adam turns to Matt, tilts his head and scrunches up his face.

“Um, no sex stuff?” Matt asks, “Until later, maybe. I don't know.” Lawrence nods, crosses it off his mental checklist. It's Sean who speaks up.

“Pillow fort?” He asks, “But, on the bed. A pillow castle!” Elyse jumps forwards, immediately kisses Sean until he's left red-cheeked. “That's a yes?”

“Oh, that's a yes.” Elyse nods. She looks around at the other's as they nod their agreements. “This is going to be _amazing_.”

\- - - - -

“So how do you think this all started?” Matt asks Adam, one night. They're stood out on the balcony. The dark night is lit up by the orange street lamps, carefully outlining each detail on their faces. There's no stars, just the lights in the windows of buildings to paint the sky. Adam leans forwards on the railing, arms hanging over. It's been a month now, since Matt reappeared. It was still tense at times. With Bruce and Lawrence - always wary of newcomers. Especially ones that can win the trust of their partners so fast. Even with Adam, still, all the things left unsaid - the opportunities lost, are left to hang between them and neither want to start picking it all apart.

Earlier, they'd all got tattoos, tattooing over the old, black Matilda. The other's had to choose slightly brighter blues, but Adam's remained the same as the sky. They'd sat through it with varying levels of complaint ( _‘So what's your pain tolerance - from Joel to a normal human being?’_ ) and had all come out the other side. Or were dragged. If you were Joel.

Now though, they were complete again. Adam saw the same change in Matt as he saw in them, with short hair, bouncing and laughing. It made Adam feel warm, seeing Matt happy again. He'd changed, become less open, hiding in the background. Every smile felt like a blessing as he slowly opened up to him once more. Adam watched the lights of the city sparkle in Matt's eyes, the same eyes he used to look in and see the world. Everything is better in the eyes of someone you love.

“Does it really matter, how this all started?” Adam replies, Matt turns to look at him, curious in his expression. Adam sighs, content, “I don't care about the beginning, not anymore.” He expands, “I just never want it to end.” Matt nods, smiles and looks back out at the roads. His eyes follow the cars, off into the distance.

“I'd like that too.” He agrees. Adam gives him a grateful smile and Matt responds with another. The two stand, side by side, pressed up against each other. The air is cold but they don't mind, enjoying each other's warmth and simple presence. Matt leans over, rests his head on Adam's shoulder. His eyes slip shut, and Adam watches affectionately. The door behind them opens, someone steps out beside Adam.

“We're heading to sleep.” It's Lawrence. Adam nods, gently helps Matt stand. Lawrence smiles at the sight, reaches forward to help support him. They step back inside, to the sounds of cheerful shouts, squeaking beds. There's a sudden storm of footsteps and suddenly Joel has fallen in front of them, James jumping top of him with a pillow in hand.

“Help he-!” Joel’s cries are cut off when the pillow strikes him, instead becoming shrill giggles. He holds his arms up, tries to defend himself, “No, please, I'll do anything!”

“ _Anything_ , you say?” James plays on the dramatics, tickles Joel with his other hand. Joel squeals, tries to kick him off.

“Anything!” Joel answers, voice cracking from laughter. James looks up to Matt, raises an eyebrow.

Matt holds his arms up, murmurs, “Carry me to bed.” Adam rolls his eyes, knows this can't go well.

It doesn't.

\- - - - -

( _They could've been happy, just the two of them. But never as happy as they are now, all eight together. Never as happy as this_.)


End file.
